So what prompted me to define my 5 essential tips for a happy life? Well, quarantine and Covid19 has left many of us reviewing our lives; myself included. So I thought I would delve in a bit deeper.
Being 100% honest – I didn’t find confinement too difficult. Why? I ask myself.
Firstly, I am quite self-contained – I have built a world where I feel comfortable and happy. So the burning question is – how did I do it?
Analysing it has taken me a while. I think I have focused on these areas which are the basis of my 5 essential tips for a happy life!
Understanding friends
Hehe this is a hard one to explain. I don’t want friends who listen and nod. I want friends who poke, prod and nudge. Friends who interact and know what I need. Friends who don’t need to listen to have the answer because they know the solution before I even verbalise the problem. Actually I rarely verbalise my problems; perhaps that’s because my friends are so incredible or because that is just who I am.
I don’t think friends should ‘be there’ for me. It’s an idea that does’t appeal to me at all. I want to be there for them, I love catching up with others and hearing all their news. Chatting is one of my favourite pastimes, but I prefer to talk about them. I know my life, I don’t need to talk about it, I have nothing to gain from talking about my life. Talking about me just isn’t me.
Don’t get me wrong, I do share my experiences (as you will see here) and even more often my discoveries – which are pretty interconnected. I usually do it for the listener; perhaps to show they are not daft and we have all done the same ridiculous thing, perhaps to illustrate the advantages or disadvantages of certain actions. I share experiences as a kind of solidarity and isn’t that what we all need? I think everyone needs their friends to stand shoulder to shoulder with them.
So ‘understanding friends’ are ones who understand me and with whom I can have a totally honest relationship – not ones I want to understand my problems.
One of my favourite quotes is by Dom in Fast and Furious “I don’t have friends I got family”. This is me! This is my life principle.
Delicious food
I LOVE delicious food and sometimes love cooking. In the vein of honestly – I don’t always LIKE cooking. It’s the routine and frequency that drives me mad. It seems illogical that humans need to eat at least twice a day and preferably three times a day – every day of their lives. It is a serious design flaw.
Preparing food takes time, and if it doesn’t and we throw something together then we may not enjoy it. If it isn’t enjoyable then we don’t gain from it. So as a mum I totally get that delicious food is the bond that brings people together, helps a family grow as a unit and gives us a huge amount of shared experiences and beautiful memories. All these advantages makes the effort worthwhile. Thus I love delicious food – not for the food, but the experience and joy of sharing it and the memories it creates.
Thankfully I have a hubbie who’s a fabulous cook and can (and does) fill in the gaps when my enthusiasm for cooking wains ….
Captivating literature
I don’t think it matters what you read so long as you read. A lot of mums regularly say ‘that’s not a proper book’ – but in my view, it is has words it is good. I love books which have just been knocked up and self-published. These are real insights into peoples lives and heads. I often prefer these to the polished products of publishing houses. I adore the unpredictability – it makes life better. So by captivating – I literally mean anything which makes us want to read the next sentence. So being captivated or caught up is definitely one my 5 essential tips for a happy life.
Love
Love comes in so many different forms.Many people believe that you need to love yourself to be able to love others. I am not totally sure I agree with that. I think that loving others helps to define us. The action of loving others makes us intrinsically more lovable. Thus more people will love us and as this happens and grows we start to appreciate our own importance and usefulness. Once we can see the good and worth in ourselves then we can love ourselves – but isn’t it easier to see our own glow when others are showing it to us rather than having to search inside for it?
So for me ‘love’ is an act of giving. It covers the great passions of our lives; the love between two soul mates. But it also covers the small acts of kindness which help to nurture love in someone’s else’s life. When a child in a pushchair drops their toy and you pick it up and return it – that huge beaming smile from the toddlers, that is them giving you a bit of their love. A moment of kindness is an exchange of love. It is so contagious, way more contagious than the coronavirus.
Escaping
Escape from what? Escape to where?
I don’t think it matters. It can be escaping our heads with a good song, or our offices with a lunchtime walk. Escaping is about breaking the routine or expectation – it is about reminding ourselves that we are free. Free to make decisions (good and bad ones), free to choose our path (the right one or the wrong one).
Escaping is about remembering that we only have this life and we need to enjoy it. Escaping is about remembering to breathe!
So those are my 5 essential tips of a happy life!
